Lord won’t you please take me out of this hell
Heal my body, my soul, my mind make well
I can no longer battle this ongoing fight
I’ve abandoned my duties, given my children a fright
I want to be whole again, learning to live
For worship, service, love I long to give
Yet, here I am alone, sitting in the fire
With such strong emotions, release I desire
I feel terribly ashamed, afraid and confused
I call to You, for all my strength I have used
Yet no where do I hear the sound of Your voice
I used to believe that was all my choice
But, now I do wonder why You’ve been gone so long
As I carry a tune to the “Lord Hear Me” song
My heart, I thought, was free to hearing Your shout
My ears weary of waiting for You to call out
My mind is an absolute mess on its own
With You gone, my Lord, it’s truly alone
It’s up and it’s down, it’s empty and full
It’s frightened, confused, craving a tug and a pull
From its creator, its maker, the one who is You
It desires Your presence while it’s feeling so blue
But, again, Lord it calls with a response none
And it continues to cry, scream, shout and have fun
The crying is sad, the fun it is scary
It longs for some time with you to tarry
Rest together so it can calm and be healed
Lord, please return, is my mind’s strong appeal
"All of Me" is a collection of poems and prayers that I have written over the last couple of years. Occasionally I will post songs that have touched my life. I was encouraged to begin this site in hopes that others who may be going through trials may not feel so alone.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Struggle
My God, My Lord why are You gone
At a time when i need you most
My mind is a mess, my heart torn
Oh Heavenly Father, Son and Ghost
My mind is irritable, crowded, all mixed up
In a body that's exhausted, worn out
As I drink from this bitter, disgusting cup
Please take it far away from my mouth
I disappoint those that must live with me
Those that have no other choice
But, to miserable, misguided, terrible see
A me that no longer has a voice
A voice to scream and holler to You, Lord
A voice that is strong, in control
A faith that is stronger than the sword
That is coming to chop at my soul
Just a blob of a self that is outside in
A pitiful wreck of a soul
Someone to many that used to be kin
Now seen as nothing but one with no goal
Struggling all day to get out of bed
To be a person that's worth this life
Struggling all day to get out of my head
To be a person not worthy of strife
Lord, I use all the strength that recently lapsed
The mustard seed sized faith that I own
To call once again, with belief that perhaps
You can save me from pain that has grown
At a time when i need you most
My mind is a mess, my heart torn
Oh Heavenly Father, Son and Ghost
My mind is irritable, crowded, all mixed up
In a body that's exhausted, worn out
As I drink from this bitter, disgusting cup
Please take it far away from my mouth
I disappoint those that must live with me
Those that have no other choice
But, to miserable, misguided, terrible see
A me that no longer has a voice
A voice to scream and holler to You, Lord
A voice that is strong, in control
A faith that is stronger than the sword
That is coming to chop at my soul
Just a blob of a self that is outside in
A pitiful wreck of a soul
Someone to many that used to be kin
Now seen as nothing but one with no goal
Struggling all day to get out of bed
To be a person that's worth this life
Struggling all day to get out of my head
To be a person not worthy of strife
Lord, I use all the strength that recently lapsed
The mustard seed sized faith that I own
To call once again, with belief that perhaps
You can save me from pain that has grown
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) lyrics
Songwriters: Traditional; Giglio, Louie; Tomlin, Chris;
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine
Songwriters: Traditional; Giglio, Louie; Tomlin, Chris;
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine
Sin
When I'm feeling quite alone
And I'm feeling quite insane
I make terrible mistakes
Choices treated like a game
Cause I'm feeling really high
Games I want to play
Taking no time at all
To decide what actions go into my day
As the day passes on
And the high becomes a low
The guilt will come on strong
As the funny says it's time to go
Wrong I know I did
As the choices I cared not
Whether the Lord would approve
Whether my soul would live or rot
Now that the high is gone
To my Lord, my God, I cry
Please forgive me of my wrongs
Have my sins inside me die
And I'm feeling quite insane
I make terrible mistakes
Choices treated like a game
Cause I'm feeling really high
Games I want to play
Taking no time at all
To decide what actions go into my day
As the day passes on
And the high becomes a low
The guilt will come on strong
As the funny says it's time to go
Wrong I know I did
As the choices I cared not
Whether the Lord would approve
Whether my soul would live or rot
Now that the high is gone
To my Lord, my God, I cry
Please forgive me of my wrongs
Have my sins inside me die
Mixed Up
All mixed up for no one to see
Energetic yet tired, how can that be
It's a feeling that I can't explain
Making me feel on edge, quite insane
Want not to be alone
In this game I play, the mind I call home
Me and me is all I can find
I look around to find I am blind
Nothingness fills the empty void
Monster of darkness is overjoyed
Yet, out in the open is a me that is bold
A me that enjoys life, it never gets old
So, the nothingness, the joy it's all inside
Making life nothing more than a roller coaster ride
Up and down, down and up,
In the middle all shook up
I"m mixed and mashed and turned upside down
So that my frown is a smile and my smile a frown
Energetic yet tired, how can that be
It's a feeling that I can't explain
Making me feel on edge, quite insane
Want not to be alone
In this game I play, the mind I call home
Me and me is all I can find
I look around to find I am blind
Nothingness fills the empty void
Monster of darkness is overjoyed
Yet, out in the open is a me that is bold
A me that enjoys life, it never gets old
So, the nothingness, the joy it's all inside
Making life nothing more than a roller coaster ride
Up and down, down and up,
In the middle all shook up
I"m mixed and mashed and turned upside down
So that my frown is a smile and my smile a frown
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Distant
Call to the Father, Call to the Son
Call to the Spirit of the Holy One
For I’m scared and alone and feeling blue
I need the peace only gotten from You
My mind knows that you are already here
But, my heart is full of pain that I cannot bear
Your touch seems distant from all of me
I miss Your love and the feeling of glee
I know it is me that has turned away
I’m certain I’m the sheep that has gone astray
Lord, come find me is my request
I’m being swallowed up, but I’m doing my best
My best to fight this pain and this strife
These high and low feelings that have taken my life
So, Lord please seek this lost sheep
Enfold me in Your arms as I weep
Call to the Spirit of the Holy One
For I’m scared and alone and feeling blue
I need the peace only gotten from You
My mind knows that you are already here
But, my heart is full of pain that I cannot bear
Your touch seems distant from all of me
I miss Your love and the feeling of glee
I know it is me that has turned away
I’m certain I’m the sheep that has gone astray
Lord, come find me is my request
I’m being swallowed up, but I’m doing my best
My best to fight this pain and this strife
These high and low feelings that have taken my life
So, Lord please seek this lost sheep
Enfold me in Your arms as I weep
Down Deep
Way down deep, where no one can see
That is where I’ve hidden me
Right in the depths of a hole so small
No longer imagining the Lord hears my call
I’ve learned that He is at my side
Whether the hole is deep, short or wide
Taught that the Lord is everywhere
Even when I think He doesn’t care
Way down here, in this hole deep
I call once again, as I begin to weep
In the depth of my heart, I know He hears
But, the depth of my heart, is crowded with tears
So, the knowledge that everywhere is He
Is hidden inside the confusion of me
All that I feel is alone and afraid
As I await the Lord’s reply that He’s already made
That is where I’ve hidden me
Right in the depths of a hole so small
No longer imagining the Lord hears my call
I’ve learned that He is at my side
Whether the hole is deep, short or wide
Taught that the Lord is everywhere
Even when I think He doesn’t care
Way down here, in this hole deep
I call once again, as I begin to weep
In the depth of my heart, I know He hears
But, the depth of my heart, is crowded with tears
So, the knowledge that everywhere is He
Is hidden inside the confusion of me
All that I feel is alone and afraid
As I await the Lord’s reply that He’s already made
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Faith, Not Fear
This poem was written based on a sermon given by Pastor Craig at Mt. Zion UMC. You can hear the sermon at www.mzprays.org.
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask;but I do not hear
For faith takes strength, and strong I’m not
You say touch cold, I reach for hot
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord you ask more than I can bear
For faith takes courage and timid am I
I know not how to hold my head high
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, I start to hear
For faith takes a union with the one above
With You, my Lord, my God who’s love
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, and now I’m here
For faith takes hope, a special bond
A belief in something far beyond
Go out in faith, to me you say
This time I will not shy away
You give me hope, love, courage, strength
So, that now in You I can go the length
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask;but I do not hear
For faith takes strength, and strong I’m not
You say touch cold, I reach for hot
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord you ask more than I can bear
For faith takes courage and timid am I
I know not how to hold my head high
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, I start to hear
For faith takes a union with the one above
With You, my Lord, my God who’s love
Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, and now I’m here
For faith takes hope, a special bond
A belief in something far beyond
Go out in faith, to me you say
This time I will not shy away
You give me hope, love, courage, strength
So, that now in You I can go the length
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Forgive
My God, My Lord, My Light
Walk with me through this plight
I travel through turbulent times
Unable to clear my mind
The center of my life
Hold my hand through this strife
Grab onto me when I let go
At my side, please let me know
When I fail and let in sin
Remind me I'm still kin
Forgive me all my faults
Intentional or not
Jesus paid the price
He gave us all his life
On occasion I forget
To be grateful my needs are met
Again, I call on You
To forgive and get me through
These tumultuous times I live
I see I ask you to give and give
Please help me open my heart
Guide me to re-start
The relationship I once had
The connection that made me glad
I call to you today
For my mind not to fray
For my soul to be all white
Even during my fight
My fight to overcome
The sin of a guilty one
Offer me your grace
Put a smile back on my face
My God, My Lord, My Light
You have guided me to fight
The sin to which I have succumbed
And I ask to walk with the Holy One
Walk with me through this plight
I travel through turbulent times
Unable to clear my mind
The center of my life
Hold my hand through this strife
Grab onto me when I let go
At my side, please let me know
When I fail and let in sin
Remind me I'm still kin
Forgive me all my faults
Intentional or not
Jesus paid the price
He gave us all his life
On occasion I forget
To be grateful my needs are met
Again, I call on You
To forgive and get me through
These tumultuous times I live
I see I ask you to give and give
Please help me open my heart
Guide me to re-start
The relationship I once had
The connection that made me glad
I call to you today
For my mind not to fray
For my soul to be all white
Even during my fight
My fight to overcome
The sin of a guilty one
Offer me your grace
Put a smile back on my face
My God, My Lord, My Light
You have guided me to fight
The sin to which I have succumbed
And I ask to walk with the Holy One
Friday, September 17, 2010
Peace
Yesterday was different, thoughts were all around
Deemed for sure that I was panic, crazy bound
Today offers a new insight into my current state
The love of Jesus Christ, my Lord,made anxiety abate
All wrapped up in my own thoughts, yesterday I was
But today, I can see outside of me and feel His love
He sent not only His Word to help me overcome
But, He also sent the prayers and concern from everyone
So, today I thank the precious Lord for the gift of a peaceful day
I thank Him for my family, my friends, and all who help lead the way
I thank Him for the the Son, the Spirit and the Love that He gives
I thank Him for the cherished peace that without I could not live
Deemed for sure that I was panic, crazy bound
Today offers a new insight into my current state
The love of Jesus Christ, my Lord,made anxiety abate
All wrapped up in my own thoughts, yesterday I was
But today, I can see outside of me and feel His love
He sent not only His Word to help me overcome
But, He also sent the prayers and concern from everyone
So, today I thank the precious Lord for the gift of a peaceful day
I thank Him for my family, my friends, and all who help lead the way
I thank Him for the the Son, the Spirit and the Love that He gives
I thank Him for the cherished peace that without I could not live
Frantic
Frantic, manic energy
Can’t seem to sit still
Out of the blue, it came
Yes, I know the drill
Hoped it was past me
Hoped it would not return
Energy filled to the brim
Energy that will not burn
Can’t seem to sit still
Out of the blue, it came
Yes, I know the drill
Hoped it was past me
Hoped it would not return
Energy filled to the brim
Energy that will not burn
Same Old Story
No new story will unfold
Living the same old lie
Up one minute, down the next
laughing all day, then sigh
No new words to tell the tale
That has become my life
Thought there was a happy ending
Learned there’s nothing but strife
Living the same old lie
Up one minute, down the next
laughing all day, then sigh
No new words to tell the tale
That has become my life
Thought there was a happy ending
Learned there’s nothing but strife
Resist
The devil couldn’t let me go
Once I had found the love
The love of Jesus Christ, the Lord
Who came down from above
The devil put a stronghold on
He wouldn’t let me be
I knew I had found true love
And the gift to be free
The devil latched on tighter
He gripped with an iron fist
The power of the Lord, my God
Is why I could resist
But, fighting all that effort
Against the devil’s power
Had created me to grow tired
My attitude to sour
I needed to remember
That the power was the Lord’s
That I could rest when I needed
That it was peace I could afford
The devil cannot win this fight
As long as the faith I keep
The knowledge nestled in my heart
That I am one of the Lord’s sheep
Once I had found the love
The love of Jesus Christ, the Lord
Who came down from above
The devil put a stronghold on
He wouldn’t let me be
I knew I had found true love
And the gift to be free
The devil latched on tighter
He gripped with an iron fist
The power of the Lord, my God
Is why I could resist
But, fighting all that effort
Against the devil’s power
Had created me to grow tired
My attitude to sour
I needed to remember
That the power was the Lord’s
That I could rest when I needed
That it was peace I could afford
The devil cannot win this fight
As long as the faith I keep
The knowledge nestled in my heart
That I am one of the Lord’s sheep
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