Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mind's Request

Lord won’t you please take me out of this hell
Heal my body, my soul, my mind make well
I can no longer battle this ongoing fight
I’ve abandoned my duties, given my children a fright

I want to be whole again, learning to live
For worship, service, love I long to give
Yet, here I am alone, sitting in the fire
With such strong emotions, release I desire

I feel terribly ashamed, afraid and confused
I call to You, for all my strength I have used
Yet no where do I hear the sound of Your voice
I used to believe that was all my choice

But, now I do wonder why You’ve been gone so long
As I carry a tune to the “Lord Hear Me” song
My heart, I thought, was free to hearing Your shout
My ears weary of waiting for You to call out

My mind is an absolute mess on its own
With You gone, my Lord, it’s truly alone
It’s up and it’s down, it’s empty and full
It’s frightened, confused, craving a tug and a pull

From its creator, its maker, the one who is You
It desires Your presence while it’s feeling so blue
But, again, Lord it calls with a response none
And it continues to cry, scream, shout and have fun

The crying is sad, the fun it is scary
It longs for some time with you to tarry
Rest together so it can calm and be healed
Lord, please return, is my mind’s strong appeal

Monday, September 27, 2010

Struggle

My God, My Lord why are You gone
At a time when i need you most
My mind is a mess, my heart torn
Oh Heavenly Father, Son and Ghost

My mind is irritable, crowded, all mixed up
In a body that's exhausted, worn out
As I drink from this bitter, disgusting cup
Please take it far away from my mouth

I disappoint those that must live with me
Those that have no other choice
But, to miserable, misguided, terrible see
A me that no longer has a voice

A voice to scream and holler to You, Lord
A voice that is strong, in control
A faith that is stronger than the sword
That is coming to chop at my soul

Just a blob of a self that is outside in
A pitiful wreck of a soul
Someone to many that used to be kin
Now seen as nothing but one with no goal

Struggling all day to get out of bed
To be a person that's worth this life
Struggling all day to get out of my head
To be a person not worthy of strife

Lord, I use all the strength that recently lapsed
The mustard seed sized faith that I own
To call once again, with belief that perhaps
You can save me from pain that has grown

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) lyrics
Songwriters: Traditional; Giglio, Louie; Tomlin, Chris;

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Sin

When I'm feeling quite alone
And I'm feeling quite insane
I make terrible mistakes
Choices treated like a game

Cause I'm feeling really high
Games I want to play
Taking no time at all
To decide what actions go into my day

As the day passes on
And the high becomes a low
The guilt will come on strong
As the funny says it's time to go

Wrong I know I did
As the choices I cared not
Whether the Lord would approve
Whether my soul would live or rot

Now that the high is gone
To my Lord, my God, I cry
Please forgive me of my wrongs
Have my sins inside me die

Mixed Up

All mixed up for no one to see
Energetic yet tired, how can that be

It's a feeling that I can't explain
Making me feel on edge, quite insane

Want not to be alone
In this game I play, the mind I call home

Me and me is all I can find
I look around to find I am blind

Nothingness fills the empty void
Monster of darkness is overjoyed

Yet, out in the open is a me that is bold
A me that enjoys life, it never gets old

So, the nothingness, the joy it's all inside
Making life nothing more than a roller coaster ride

Up and down, down and up,
In the middle all shook up

I"m mixed and mashed and turned upside down
So that my frown is a smile and my smile a frown

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Distant

Call to the Father, Call to the Son
Call to the Spirit of the Holy One
For I’m scared and alone and feeling blue
I need the peace only gotten from You

My mind knows that you are already here
But, my heart is full of pain that I cannot bear
Your touch seems distant from all of me
I miss Your love and the feeling of glee

I know it is me that has turned away
I’m certain I’m the sheep that has gone astray
Lord, come find me is my request
I’m being swallowed up, but I’m doing my best

My best to fight this pain and this strife
These high and low feelings that have taken my life
So, Lord please seek this lost sheep
Enfold me in Your arms as I weep

Down Deep

Way down deep, where no one can see
That is where I’ve hidden me
Right in the depths of a hole so small
No longer imagining the Lord hears my call

I’ve learned that He is at my side
Whether the hole is deep, short or wide
Taught that the Lord is everywhere
Even when I think He doesn’t care

Way down here, in this hole deep
I call once again, as I begin to weep
In the depth of my heart, I know He hears
But, the depth of my heart, is crowded with tears

So, the knowledge that everywhere is He
Is hidden inside the confusion of me
All that I feel is alone and afraid
As I await the Lord’s reply that He’s already made

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Faith, Not Fear

This poem was written based on a sermon given by Pastor Craig at Mt. Zion UMC. You can hear the sermon at www.mzprays.org.


Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask;but I do not hear
For faith takes strength, and strong I’m not
You say touch cold, I reach for hot

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord you ask more than I can bear
For faith takes courage and timid am I
I know not how to hold my head high

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, I start to hear
For faith takes a union with the one above
With You, my Lord, my God who’s love

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, and now I’m here
For faith takes hope, a special bond
A belief in something far beyond

Go out in faith, to me you say
This time I will not shy away
You give me hope, love, courage, strength
So, that now in You I can go the length

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Forgive

My God, My Lord, My Light
Walk with me through this plight
I travel through turbulent times
Unable to clear my mind

The center of my life
Hold my hand through this strife
Grab onto me when I let go
At my side, please let me know

When I fail and let in sin
Remind me I'm still kin
Forgive me all my faults
Intentional or not

Jesus paid the price
He gave us all his life
On occasion I forget
To be grateful my needs are met

Again, I call on You
To forgive and get me through
These tumultuous times I live
I see I ask you to give and give

Please help me open my heart
Guide me to re-start
The relationship I once had
The connection that made me glad

I call to you today
For my mind not to fray
For my soul to be all white
Even during my fight

My fight to overcome
The sin of a guilty one
Offer me your grace
Put a smile back on my face

My God, My Lord, My Light
You have guided me to fight
The sin to which I have succumbed
And I ask to walk with the Holy One

Friday, September 17, 2010

Peace

Yesterday was different, thoughts were all around
Deemed for sure that I was panic, crazy bound
Today offers a new insight into my current state
The love of Jesus Christ, my Lord,made anxiety abate

All wrapped up in my own thoughts, yesterday I was
But today, I can see outside of me and feel His love
He sent not only His Word to help me overcome
But, He also sent the prayers and concern from everyone

So, today I thank the precious Lord for the gift of a peaceful day
I thank Him for my family, my friends, and all who help lead the way
I thank Him for the the Son, the Spirit and the Love that He gives
I thank Him for the cherished peace that without I could not live

Frantic

Frantic, manic energy
Can’t seem to sit still
Out of the blue, it came
Yes, I know the drill

Hoped it was past me
Hoped it would not return
Energy filled to the brim
Energy that will not burn

Same Old Story

No new story will unfold
Living the same old lie
Up one minute, down the next
laughing all day, then sigh

No new words to tell the tale
That has become my life
Thought there was a happy ending
Learned there’s nothing but strife

Resist

The devil couldn’t let me go
Once I had found the love
The love of Jesus Christ, the Lord
Who came down from above

The devil put a stronghold on
He wouldn’t let me be
I knew I had found true love
And the gift to be free

The devil latched on tighter
He gripped with an iron fist
The power of the Lord, my God
Is why I could resist

But, fighting all that effort
Against the devil’s power
Had created me to grow tired
My attitude to sour

I needed to remember
That the power was the Lord’s
That I could rest when I needed
That it was peace I could afford

The devil cannot win this fight
As long as the faith I keep
The knowledge nestled in my heart
That I am one of the Lord’s sheep