Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Another song by Tenth Avenue North...


I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, and its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you'
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?
oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
now you pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still I'm afraid to tell you
all that I've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look past my pretending?
Lord I'm so tired of defending
what I've become
what have i become?
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh.
i hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
I'm there through your heartache
I'm there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends
mmm, mmm
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Monday, October 4, 2010


I stand here today with failures all around
I see nothing for myself, but worthless bound
I'm trying to look past the selfish me
What the Lord originally made, I try to see

But,the new me that I have designed
Shows what I truly am, with loss of mind
A failure, a fool, a wretched soul
That no longer has, in this life, a role

For I used to be able to concentrate
I could help my children and on them wait
I could do school work and kiss boo boos
I could lift them up when they were blue

Yet, here I stand on this day
With a crowded mind and no good way
To be triumphant at life's events
Lord, save me from my predicament

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tenth Avenue North: By Your Side...song lyrics

By Your Side Lyrics

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go


As I lie in the bondage of a disordered mood
I wonder the reasoning, and sit and brood
For the world seems unfair, and angry I feel
That my thoughts and my feelings are sometimes unreal

I never do know who I'll be day to day
Will I be sad, anxious or gay
I do not understand from where my thoughts come
The ones that bombard, causing me to be done

Done with this life that I thought I knew
But, now is a life that is nothing but blue
Done with my feelings for they're all a lie
I never do know if I'll laugh, sing or cry


An anxious view of life
Is causing mostly strife
When abandoned I am feeling
My soul will begin appealing

To the Father I believe
The one who can relieve
All the worries and the fear
Causing sickness and the tears

Heavenly Father, I call now
For you to show me how
How to let it all just be
So, I can function properly

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Mind's Request

Lord won’t you please take me out of this hell
Heal my body, my soul, my mind make well
I can no longer battle this ongoing fight
I’ve abandoned my duties, given my children a fright

I want to be whole again, learning to live
For worship, service, love I long to give
Yet, here I am alone, sitting in the fire
With such strong emotions, release I desire

I feel terribly ashamed, afraid and confused
I call to You, for all my strength I have used
Yet no where do I hear the sound of Your voice
I used to believe that was all my choice

But, now I do wonder why You’ve been gone so long
As I carry a tune to the “Lord Hear Me” song
My heart, I thought, was free to hearing Your shout
My ears weary of waiting for You to call out

My mind is an absolute mess on its own
With You gone, my Lord, it’s truly alone
It’s up and it’s down, it’s empty and full
It’s frightened, confused, craving a tug and a pull

From its creator, its maker, the one who is You
It desires Your presence while it’s feeling so blue
But, again, Lord it calls with a response none
And it continues to cry, scream, shout and have fun

The crying is sad, the fun it is scary
It longs for some time with you to tarry
Rest together so it can calm and be healed
Lord, please return, is my mind’s strong appeal

Monday, September 27, 2010


My God, My Lord why are You gone
At a time when i need you most
My mind is a mess, my heart torn
Oh Heavenly Father, Son and Ghost

My mind is irritable, crowded, all mixed up
In a body that's exhausted, worn out
As I drink from this bitter, disgusting cup
Please take it far away from my mouth

I disappoint those that must live with me
Those that have no other choice
But, to miserable, misguided, terrible see
A me that no longer has a voice

A voice to scream and holler to You, Lord
A voice that is strong, in control
A faith that is stronger than the sword
That is coming to chop at my soul

Just a blob of a self that is outside in
A pitiful wreck of a soul
Someone to many that used to be kin
Now seen as nothing but one with no goal

Struggling all day to get out of bed
To be a person that's worth this life
Struggling all day to get out of my head
To be a person not worthy of strife

Lord, I use all the strength that recently lapsed
The mustard seed sized faith that I own
To call once again, with belief that perhaps
You can save me from pain that has grown

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) lyrics
Songwriters: Traditional; Giglio, Louie; Tomlin, Chris;

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God who called me here below
Will be forever mine, will be forever mine
You are forever mine


When I'm feeling quite alone
And I'm feeling quite insane
I make terrible mistakes
Choices treated like a game

Cause I'm feeling really high
Games I want to play
Taking no time at all
To decide what actions go into my day

As the day passes on
And the high becomes a low
The guilt will come on strong
As the funny says it's time to go

Wrong I know I did
As the choices I cared not
Whether the Lord would approve
Whether my soul would live or rot

Now that the high is gone
To my Lord, my God, I cry
Please forgive me of my wrongs
Have my sins inside me die

Mixed Up

All mixed up for no one to see
Energetic yet tired, how can that be

It's a feeling that I can't explain
Making me feel on edge, quite insane

Want not to be alone
In this game I play, the mind I call home

Me and me is all I can find
I look around to find I am blind

Nothingness fills the empty void
Monster of darkness is overjoyed

Yet, out in the open is a me that is bold
A me that enjoys life, it never gets old

So, the nothingness, the joy it's all inside
Making life nothing more than a roller coaster ride

Up and down, down and up,
In the middle all shook up

I"m mixed and mashed and turned upside down
So that my frown is a smile and my smile a frown

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Call to the Father, Call to the Son
Call to the Spirit of the Holy One
For I’m scared and alone and feeling blue
I need the peace only gotten from You

My mind knows that you are already here
But, my heart is full of pain that I cannot bear
Your touch seems distant from all of me
I miss Your love and the feeling of glee

I know it is me that has turned away
I’m certain I’m the sheep that has gone astray
Lord, come find me is my request
I’m being swallowed up, but I’m doing my best

My best to fight this pain and this strife
These high and low feelings that have taken my life
So, Lord please seek this lost sheep
Enfold me in Your arms as I weep

Down Deep

Way down deep, where no one can see
That is where I’ve hidden me
Right in the depths of a hole so small
No longer imagining the Lord hears my call

I’ve learned that He is at my side
Whether the hole is deep, short or wide
Taught that the Lord is everywhere
Even when I think He doesn’t care

Way down here, in this hole deep
I call once again, as I begin to weep
In the depth of my heart, I know He hears
But, the depth of my heart, is crowded with tears

So, the knowledge that everywhere is He
Is hidden inside the confusion of me
All that I feel is alone and afraid
As I await the Lord’s reply that He’s already made

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Faith, Not Fear

This poem was written based on a sermon given by Pastor Craig at Mt. Zion UMC. You can hear the sermon at www.mzprays.org.

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask;but I do not hear
For faith takes strength, and strong I’m not
You say touch cold, I reach for hot

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord you ask more than I can bear
For faith takes courage and timid am I
I know not how to hold my head high

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, I start to hear
For faith takes a union with the one above
With You, my Lord, my God who’s love

Go out in faith, instead of fear
Lord, you ask, and now I’m here
For faith takes hope, a special bond
A belief in something far beyond

Go out in faith, to me you say
This time I will not shy away
You give me hope, love, courage, strength
So, that now in You I can go the length

Saturday, September 18, 2010


My God, My Lord, My Light
Walk with me through this plight
I travel through turbulent times
Unable to clear my mind

The center of my life
Hold my hand through this strife
Grab onto me when I let go
At my side, please let me know

When I fail and let in sin
Remind me I'm still kin
Forgive me all my faults
Intentional or not

Jesus paid the price
He gave us all his life
On occasion I forget
To be grateful my needs are met

Again, I call on You
To forgive and get me through
These tumultuous times I live
I see I ask you to give and give

Please help me open my heart
Guide me to re-start
The relationship I once had
The connection that made me glad

I call to you today
For my mind not to fray
For my soul to be all white
Even during my fight

My fight to overcome
The sin of a guilty one
Offer me your grace
Put a smile back on my face

My God, My Lord, My Light
You have guided me to fight
The sin to which I have succumbed
And I ask to walk with the Holy One

Friday, September 17, 2010


Yesterday was different, thoughts were all around
Deemed for sure that I was panic, crazy bound
Today offers a new insight into my current state
The love of Jesus Christ, my Lord,made anxiety abate

All wrapped up in my own thoughts, yesterday I was
But today, I can see outside of me and feel His love
He sent not only His Word to help me overcome
But, He also sent the prayers and concern from everyone

So, today I thank the precious Lord for the gift of a peaceful day
I thank Him for my family, my friends, and all who help lead the way
I thank Him for the the Son, the Spirit and the Love that He gives
I thank Him for the cherished peace that without I could not live


Frantic, manic energy
Can’t seem to sit still
Out of the blue, it came
Yes, I know the drill

Hoped it was past me
Hoped it would not return
Energy filled to the brim
Energy that will not burn

Same Old Story

No new story will unfold
Living the same old lie
Up one minute, down the next
laughing all day, then sigh

No new words to tell the tale
That has become my life
Thought there was a happy ending
Learned there’s nothing but strife


The devil couldn’t let me go
Once I had found the love
The love of Jesus Christ, the Lord
Who came down from above

The devil put a stronghold on
He wouldn’t let me be
I knew I had found true love
And the gift to be free

The devil latched on tighter
He gripped with an iron fist
The power of the Lord, my God
Is why I could resist

But, fighting all that effort
Against the devil’s power
Had created me to grow tired
My attitude to sour

I needed to remember
That the power was the Lord’s
That I could rest when I needed
That it was peace I could afford

The devil cannot win this fight
As long as the faith I keep
The knowledge nestled in my heart
That I am one of the Lord’s sheep

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Light

The good and the bad
The happy and the sad
Cycles through my life
Causing mostly strife

Wondering what will be
How can I ever see
When things are ever changing
When actions are ever blaming

The Son is the light
That shines through the night
The stability I seek
The strength for the meek

Handing over all
An order rather tall
Light, please show me how
Overcome the darkness now

Friday, April 30, 2010

In Memory of Dave

Today is my deceased brother's birthday. It amazes me that he would've been 31 today!! I wrote this poem in his memory.


Today we remember one that we love
We rejoice in the hope that he is above
For the Lord knew his heart better than we
Knew it was time to take him to see
His father in heaven, his brother, his friend
The one that exists from beginning to end

Today we remember the one that we miss
We rejoice in the knowledge that he is all His
For the Lord gave us time with our brother on earth
And, nine years ago he gave him new birth
Sad it did make us for he brought us glee
And empty it left us when he was taken to thee

Today we remember our brother Dave
We rejoice in the memories that he gave
While his time here on earth was selfishly ours
We are saddened that now he is living afar
Yet, with happy hearts we acknowledge we live
With hope for the future that the Lord does give

Today we remember "David" means beloved
We rejoice in the fact that we can now covet
All of the time he spent with us here
Knowing that maybe this is the year
We can truly delight in the love that we feel
As we honor Dave's life with memories so real

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Satan and I are having a chat
Told him I couldn't; he didn't like that
Into my life, he slipped under the hood
Making me wonder if I misunderstood
The biblical lessons I've learned through the years
I now see differently through my tears
Gluttonous, selfish, sinful, nasty
Why would the Lord still want me
Satan continues to whisper his lies
Into his guile I continue to buy
Seeing myself as nothing but bad
I've made him happy that he's had
The chance to get inside my brain
As I sit and wonder if I'm insane
Then, a warm touch on my shoulder I feel
And the Lord YELLS loud that he can heal
He has beaten Satan a long time ago
And I can too if I continue to know
The Lord loves me despite the lies
My soul is snow white in His eyes
Like the song I learned when I was young
On a tack go sit, I tell Satan
Away he goes with all his deception
The Lord he offers a gentle reception
Back by His side, near his voice
Reminding me my perception is my choice
So sinful I am, but now I see
No matter what the Lord loves me

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Winding Road

Confusion has set in concerning my woe
Searching for why You let it be so
If I am loved, then why the heartache
If I am cherished, why must I break

My mind is melting, my pride is gone
I go up and down and can't hold on
Too loose the buckle, too fast the ride
My ups and downs will now collide

Now a complete mess is what I've formed
With dirt, dust, mud I am adorned
Looking around for a place to cleanse
I'm handed a book, told it will mend

Open it up, I hesitate, but do
Again, it's filled with the love of YOU
Circle back to my original query
Why,when I'm loved, must I grow weary

The more I read, the more I know
The pain is merely for me to grow
Closer to You, closer to Love
Love for here, Love for above

Realize then, I'm stronger now
With knowledge that I gain somehow
From this trek, this journey I make
No matter the up and down road I must take

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Through This Trial

Lord, walk with me through this trial
Hold my hand for a little while
Pace your feet in place of mine
Don't let go 'til You know I'm fine

Lord, talk with me through this trial
Whisper to me for a little while
Remind me many times You're at my side
Listen to my praise, my prayer , my cries

Lord, watch over me through this trial
Place your sight here for a little while
Set my eyes to You during this pain
Guide me, shelter me, through the rain

Lord, love me through this trial
Love me more than just a little while
Your Word bears fruit too good to be true
Affirming the hand, the voice, the eyes are YOU


When the panic rises from my soul
I want to have somewhere to let it all go
It is only with you, Lord, that I can be me
My thoughts, my heart, my mind, you see

Yet you remain here, at my side
With all you see, you're here for the ride
Your knowledge of me should have you gone
You all perfect, and me, far from

Without your love, I couldn't go on
The panic would win and I'd be done
Life would be over, it would be for naught
Confusion and pain could no longer be fought

With great gratitude, I sit and praise
For the love you share on these panicky days
With a longing for peace and a longing for rest
Your forgiveness and power I will attest

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Touch of a Hand

Walking alone, and you feel the hand touch
Thinking, why this just can't be
Running from pain, for life's troubled much
Now you know He looks down to see

The pain that's inside, the pain that surrounds
Thought lonely the walk you would take
But the Lord, He does know, the Lord is around
Through your glory, your pain, your mistakes

Hands held up high, knees bent down low
Tears that do run down your face
For you're all mixed up now, with the Love He does show
You feel warmth, joy, secure; yet, disgrace

For you knew He was there, but you treated Him bad
You turned your back, walking alone
Yet, with grace He provides, To make happy the sad
To bring all sinners back to their Home

It's with tears in your eyes, and love in your heart
That you ask for forgiveness from sin
It's with truth in the Word, and another fresh start
That your new life can finally begin

Friday, March 12, 2010



Lord, it's difficult to believe
That I am what you want
Sinful, unattractive soul
How come to me you point

When asked who are your children
Your finger reaches out
I look around to see behind
It's me, you leave no doubt

How can a Heavenly Father
Have a child from which sin pours
You answer, "Jesus Christ, my dear"
Who died to make me Yours

On this day, I bow down
To repent and to renew
A distant, lost, and lonely soul
That's on fire now for you

Tunnel Vision

Well, this was written yesterday. I think today, I see some light...but, I wanted to post..it's been awhile....

Tunnel Vision

Tunnel vision, how I see
Can't see outside of me
Know that brightness lies beyond
But, for now, remain in a bond

Light, warmth, for I long
Voices of a magic song
Cold,dark, damp in this place
Slow, monotony at this pace

Why is all I want to know
From up to down, I can go
How long does this tunnel run
Must be an end that shows the sun